Hey Mom...You're Hovering!
First off, let me say, I am not a perfect parent. I am blessed with wonderful children, but I know they didn't get that way by accident. It's hard work to let your children go & let them learn how to stand on their own two feet. Their standing starts when they are young & progresses as they get older so when they are about to go to college they are actually semi-responsible young adults. (semi-responsible because they are not completely supporting themselves yet, and yes there is a HUGE difference!)
You may be wondering where this ranting is coming from? At church 2 Sundays age I had a mom totally wig-out about leaving her child in a room of other 5 years olds. The child was fine: she came in & was getting ready to play or go find a friend to talk to. The mom had the audacity to tell the child as she was walking in that 'if she got upset we would call her, and she would come and get her right away'. Really?! REALLY?!!! Did you just plant that idea in her head? She just walked in the door; don't cast your anxiety onto your child.
Mom then looked at me & admitted she was a helicopter parent & that really if she was upset we had to call her. I promised her what I promise every parent that drops their 5 year old off...we are going to love your child & she is going to have the time of her life learning about Jesus and playing with friends. Guess what, her child was fine. Not one peep the whole hour and a half she was in the ClubHouse. (That's what we call our 5 year old room.) UGH, moms who hover, back up off your child & let them grow! You're killing them. Give them a kiss & a hug & tell them you can't wait to hear everything they do in class & what they learn about. No options here, you're the parent so act like it!
All you Helos need to know it's good for older children to fail if they are headed in that direction, and accept responsibility for that failure. Failure and rejection are not always bad, and there are great life lessons that come from it. (especially when you hold their hand, pull them back up, brush off the dirt from the fall & tell them to try harder next time)
I am my kids biggest cheerleader. I want them to make everything & get everything, but that is not real life. What is real life is when they don't get it & I'm proud of them for even trying and if they don't make it the first time, trying again, and try harder. When my children are grown, I want four independent, well adjusted, successful, positive members of society who love the Lord and love people. If they can do the last two well, happiness will follow.
Thanks for letting me rant, this blog is better and much cheaper than therapy!