Because I Said So



The "most dreaded" phrase for all children and teenagers.  There are many who feel this phrase should be not used when talking to children.  They say it's vague and authoritarian.  I had an epiphany this weekend about what 'because I said so' really means & what it should mean to our children when we say it.

When parents use 'because I said so' the first thing we want you, our children, to do is to have trust that the decision we have made is in your best interest.  Sometimes we don't have time to sit down and explain every thought that went into our final decision, but we need y'all to understand we have your best interest in our hearts.

We need you to know we have years of life's experiences under our belts.  We understand that in your teenage minds you are already grown-up, but let me assure you, you are not.  Oftentimes we will consult with other adults (some older & some our peers) to get to our decision if we are vacillating or just have a funny feeling about something.  Living life teaches you a lot, and we pull from that worldly knowledge to make decisions.

Your age is a factor in why we will use 'because I said so'.  We may not be able to explain our decisions to you because you are not ready to hear the 'why' yet.  When we explain something to you, we want you to be able to truly comprehend what we are saying. We're not going to tell you something that is inappropriate for your age, and we're not going to lie to you.  (well, we won't mostly lie.)  'Because I said so' allows us the ability to keep you innocent a little longer.

Parents get frustrated and angry.  I know, you're shocked.  If we have told you to do something about 1,000,000 times, and given you the reason behind doing said thing, and you don't do it for various reasons, you will hear 'because I said so'.  In a perfect world, you would do what we ask, the first time we ask it.  We don't enjoy repeating ourselves day after day.  You know what you should do, and we don't need questions or any lip.  Just do what you're told and all will be good.  ;)

We are trying to prep you for when you grow up & enter the work place.  Do you think your boss is going to explain every little thing you have to do?  No, they aren't.  You need to be like Nike & 'Just Do It'.  You get your 'just do it' training from 'because I said so'.  See how well that translates?  We are molding you into adults who will make a difference in your homes, work places and communities.  'Because I said so' preps you very well for those three places.   What can we say, we're just givers. You're welcome.  (you're singing the Moana song aren't you?)

Dearest children, please be patient with us.  You did not come with manuals, and we are doing our best.  We want you to be happy, but we will put your health and safety above your happiness.  (And if you are a Christian, we will place your growth in Christ above all else.)  We love you with every ounce of our very beings, and would lay down our lives for you without batting an eyelash.  We're called to love and teach you to become independent, and sometimes when words may fail us, 'because I said so' is the best we can come up with.

Celebrating life & random phrases that help us parent,
~ashley







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