Someone Needs to be Slapped
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A few years ago Hop took AP Psych as an 11th grader. Harry will take it this year. It's a great class, and a great intro in psychology. I love psych, it's what my degree is in. (I really loved abnormal psychology. Partly it was my professor and second it was just plain interesting.) Hop suggested that I read a book that he read for the class called: First Person Plural, My Life as a Multiple. I'm thinking to myself, that sounds like a really interesting book. I knew people created multiple personalities when something very traumatic happens to them when they are young, but I was not ready for this. It was interesting, but at the same time very disturbing.
This poor man was molested starting at the age of four by his grandmother, his mother, and other male figures that his sick mother let hurt her son. I will tell you this, I wanted to B-slap his mother. I can't remember a time when I felt so angry. A mother's purpose is to love, nurture and protect her child; not serve him up on a silver platter to other pedophiles. It's just wrong. And you know what, it happens everyday. Everyday there is a child that is hurt by someone they trust. Everyday a child's innocence is stolen from them by real living and breathing monsters. It's mind blowing.
I thought about all the children who start self-mutilating, start drinking, start using drugs. In the name of all that is holy what are they going through? Why is my generation turning a blind eye to it? (I'm pointing these fingers at myself) My children are safe. I think I would castrate anyone who harmed my children. I am the one who walks the walls for their safety, and I am in full knowledge that there are some sick people out there.
Last night, as I was trying to stay awake until Harry & Hop got home from hanging out with friends, I was flipping channels and started watching Intervention. If you've never watched it, it's actually a pretty good show. Last night they featured a heroine addict named Megan.
Megan's story is somewhat similar, but with a different kind of abuse. She had a father who worked 60 hours a week when she was a child; a mother who decided when Megan was 12, that she didn't want to be a mom anymore; she wanted "her own life". She felt she deserved to "pursue her own happiness".
I wanted to vomit. I wanted to go and slap her parents. (are you seeing a pattern here?)
When Megan is a 15 year old she reconnects with her mom. She's happy. Her mom is living with a boyfriend that rapes Megan. You know what mom does? She blames Megan, moves away with the boyfriend, because she realizes that it was the only way she could be happy. Her happiness comes first right? UGH! Dad didn't know how to relate to Megan, and he just wanted to be happy with his new family. Double UGH!
Do any of these parents realize that when you have a child your life is no longer your own? You are responsible these little gifts God has allowed you to care for. In this fallen creation, I am still having such a hard time wrapping my head around this.
I'll tell you what, if anyone decides they don't want their children anymore, bring them to me. Bring them broken, I don't care. If they need love I can give them that. If they need structure with a little bit of discipline, I can give them that. Just don't hurt them anymore, because it's not just your child you're hurting, it's future generations as well.
Cam, the man with multiples, struggled, a lot. He now has a PhD in psychology. He has learned to cope with his life as a multiple. Megan went to the Betty Ford clinic to get help, and is now doing better. But you know the sad thing, none of it had to happen.
Tonight as I watch my children, I will thank God for bringing them into my life. I promise to love and cherish them. I promise to guide them and mold their characters. I promise to encourage them to pursue excellence in everything they do. You know why? Because I'm their mom.
Celebrating life,
~ashley
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