A Year in the Life

I don't make resolutions.  I used to, but wisely I quit.  I figured when I kept breaking them after a few weeks or months that something had to change, and it had to start with my thoughts and actions.  Here are a few of my failed resolutions: Don't failures look so much prettier when they look like that?  Still, they are places where I fell short, and that is where the most learning takes place.  What I really learned is that I needed to be a person of action instead of talk.  Talk is cheap.  It's easy to say I'm going to do something, but the follow-through is another issue.  I can say I'll love my fam, but unless I actually do it the words are meaningless.  I figured what was the use in making resolutions if it was all talk and no action.  I had to make lifestyle changes.  Instead of just wanting to read my bible, workout & lose weight, I made changes to make sure I did.  I started by putting things on my ca...

Harry (22), Elizabeth (18), Hopson (24) & Henry (16) Christmas season is so wonderful because everyone comes home.  It's also great because once Christmas is over they leave.  But not this year.  I was just getting into the habit of cooking for 3.  It's a big difference cooking for 3 instead of 6.  Henry was loving being an only child.  Like really loving it.  He had the entire upstairs to himself.  He could spread out all his stuff & be king.  Last year he moved into Harry's old room & since it wasn't everything he wanted he then moved into Hop's room.  In September Hop asked if he could move home for a time.  His lease was up on his apartment & he wanted to take his time finding a new place to live.  We said ok as long as he didn't expect to live at home forever. At about the same time Harry told us he had a Co-Op with a building company in Birmingham.  Obviously, we wanted him to live at home....

Today marks the 18th celebration of my 29th birthday.  😁  In case you need a little help in your addition, that makes me 47.  47!  Wow, my cake is going to put off some smoke.  And yes, in case you're wondering, I do want a cake.  Cake makes people happy, especially me.  Chocolate on chocolate with raspberry filling.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it. What have I learned in my 47 years?  A bunch of different random stuff.  The scary thing is that it's all rolling around in my head at one time.  Maybe that's why I walk into a room & can't remember why I walked in it.  Or it could be that I have 4 children, 2 dogs, and a husband, and they have sucked all the good brain cells from me.  (or killed them, you decide)   This year also marks the 20th year that I have been the matriarch.  It's been a long road filled with mistakes & tons of learning.  Many days are great & man...

Each day I check my online news feed.  Each day I see some things that disturb me to no end.  Can I say there are some very bad people out there who are maiming and killing their children in the most horrendous ways?  I don't know if the parents are mentally ill or just tired of their kids, but reading these stories day after day is breaking my mommy's heart. I know there are some out there who have children because they want someone to love them.  I've heard someone say this before, so I'm not making it up.  Anyone who has children knows that your kids do show you love, but they also can be very irritating, a pain in the booty,  difficult.  Ask a mother of a toddler, or a child you are teaching to read, or a teenager.  Yeah, the struggle is real.  What I'm really wondering is, how do these parents think hurting or killing their children was an option when they became frustrated or tired of parenting.  With 4 kids, I've been there, b...

The happiest days are the days when babies come!    ~Melanie from Gone With the Wind Today is a happy day...well it really started yesterday.  Yesterday my parent's 7th grandchild was born.  My younger brother, Cotton, had his third child.  He's now in the big time.  It's interesting when you go from man on man to zone coverage.  You parents of 3+ kids know.  If there is silence, something bad is going down.  But I know that the happiest of days are the ones when babies are born. I was scrolling through my sister-in-laws pictures and loved seeing all of the ones of their older two with the new baby.  It made me think back to when all of my chicks were little.  I was fine until I saw one picture.  It is a picture that broke my heart.  I'm going to admit my selfishness upfront, right now.  It was a pic of her mom with the new baby.  I realized that it is a picture my mom and dad will never have.  An...

It is called soul food for a reason & I have my own definition too.  To me, soul food is feel good food.  It reminds me of my grandmother's & mother's kitchens.   Old school southern cooks are some of the best around.  Do you think they worry about fat, sodium, or calories?  Um, no.  No they don't.  They want you to leave full and happy.  The biggest insult to a soul food cook is for you to leave hungry.  If you want bland, soul food is not for you.  Anyway, who wants bland?  Not I, said the pig.  In case some of you are not from the deep south & wonder what in the world is soul food, I found a great website that describes what it is .  I love the line that says:  "...all soul food is southern food, but not all southern food is soul food".  Amen to that.  If you've never eaten soul food, I'm so sorry.  It's homemade with heaps of love, so you an have happiness on your plate.  I...

 A friend from grade school was going through old pictures and found a picture of the house I grew up in.  I have wonderful memories from that home.  We played football in the front yard, swam in the pool, built homecoming signs, and watched movies and the 1984 Olympics.  My parents let me invite the entire 8th grade over to swim the day we officially became 9th graders.  That house is filled with laughter.    My parents didn't care about your background.  They didn't care what kind of home you came from.  They wanted you to feel loved and accepted when you came over to our house.  It was a house that love built.  It's funny looking back.  You think that some kids have it all together just to find out they saw themselves as misfits.  I was always the one who felt like I was on the fringe.  Not cool, not as smart as I wanted to be, not a lot of things.  I wonder how many other kids felt & feel like that to...

The "most dreaded" phrase for all children and teenagers.  There are many who feel this phrase should be not used when talking to children.  They say it's vague and authoritarian.  I had an epiphany this weekend about what 'because I said so' really means & what it should mean to our children when we say it. When parents use 'because I said so' the first thing we want you, our children, to do is to have trust that the decision we have made is in your best interest.  Sometimes we don't have time to sit down and explain every thought that went into our final decision, but we need y'all to understand we have your best interest in our hearts. We need you to know we have years  of life's experiences under our belts.  We understand that in your teenage minds you are already grown-up, but let me assure you, you are not.  Oftentimes we will consult with other adults (some older & some our peers) to get to our decision if we are vacillat...

I know, long time no post.  I haven't really had anything to say; it's shocking, I know.  I do have something to say today though.  IF you disagree with what I'm saying, ok great for you.  These are things I've just noticed in the last year & I thought I would share it with you.   I sub…a lot, and I love it.  I sub middle and high school aged kids.  They are fun and crazy and make me laugh.  I get to be like their favorite aunt.  I come in, love on kids, help them with their work or give them a test, and then I leave.  Most kids are excited to see me.  They know they get a break from the strictness of their teacher for a day.  My goal is to help the kids learn something new, finish their work with excellence & have fun each time I sub. But, here lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among 12-18 year olds, they are utterly dependent on their teachers and parents for everything. It's OK if they fail Hey mom an...

I was accused, and rightly so, of not teaching the children how to cook.  Apparently they didn't learn by watching me cook for hours on end all through their childhood.  Yes, I'll be waiting on my mother of the year trophy and accolades from each of you reading this.  ;)  Well, the not being able to cook stops now for the 4.  Since this may be the very last time I have all four under one roof for the summer everyone is going to learn to cook, even Henry. (who, by the way, turned 14 yesterday!  HBD Hen!) Sunday night we sat around the table eating dinner and we planned out the menu for the week.  Several rules were laid out for the summer of cooking:  You cannot grill out two weeks in a row.  No repeating meals over the weeks.  I will do the grocery shopping, but I have to know what you need.  I'm pretty sure I'll have to throw a few other rules in as we go along, but this was a good place to start. Here's what everyone is cookin...

(taken from the internet) You know, before kids I was fine.  Things were easy.  (I was thin.)  I could keep my house really clean.  I could keep up with laundry.  I could get a lot of work done in a day, and I didn't have my emotions leaking down my face on a daily basis. Did I cry at sad movies?  Yes, duh.  Steel Magnolias to 'ya, but crying at any other movie or at any other time for no apparent reason?  As if.  When I was little, I remember my mom taking us to see the Muppets take Manhattan .  At the end of the movie when Kermit & Miss. Piggy get married, my mom sat in her seat & cried.  I mean boo hoo'd.  We teased her unmercifully about it for years.  Who cries at a kid's movie?  Well, apparently, my apple didn't fall far from my mom's tree. It's gotten to the point where I can cry at the drop of a hat.  I don't mean to, I just do.  I can be in church singing a song; watching a movie...

I've had some really heartwarming mommy moments this last week.  One in particular I have to share. Now, I will admit that there are some songs we sing in church that I like better than others.  I like them all, but some just move my spirit.  I was in church with Elizabeth on my left & Henry on my right, and this song started to play.  It's one of my favorites!  My heart was so full, and then I looked out of my peripheral vision. My most fervent prayer is that my children would have encounters with the Living God.  I pray that He would touch them and they would know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves them and wants a relationship with them.  I pray that they will choose to follow Him all the days of their lives.  I know He is faithful, and has already given me answers to more prayers than I can count.   I look and my children are singing and worshiping and smiling.  How could my heart not be full?  How could my h...

I has already been a very busy August for the fam, and we have had some pretty big changes around here in the first 9 days of the month.  But, I have a few questions first: 1.  I'm wondering why & when my children grew up. I don't remember giving permission to.  I remember wanting them to become self sufficient, but not grow up and leave.  I realize it's a natural progression, but each time it happens I'm shocked it's here.  They leave when they are getting really fun, so it's kind of a bummer. 2.  I don't remember telling them they could age past 20. Hopson turned 21 August 1st.  I don't know how that happened.  I distinctly remember being 21 yesterday, so how is it possible for me to have a 21 year old?  I asked my in-laws why they were so old.  ;)  They know I'm teasing.  I mean, if I can't be old enough to have a 21 year old, they aren't old enough to have grandchildren that old, right? Can I tell you how quickl...

Dear Facebook, I wanted to let you know how much I really hate you right now.  You have turned my country, state, and city upside down.  You have made enemies out of friends and ripped us in half, and left us bleeding out.  You have lawmakers removing historical monuments because someone screamed 'those are racist'.  The 'R' word scares the holy h.e.double hockey sticks out of people, and sometimes makes them think that by just removing a symbol we can take away the pain of the past.  Wrong.  A symbol is just a symbol & an individual is the only one that can give it any power.  Hate lives within a person not a thing. To the leaders of our country, state & city:  FYI, this is a southern state.  FYI, we were part of the confederacy.  Does that mean we still believe in slavery?  No.  Does it mean that we believe in the segregation and exclusion that some people assign to this state?  No.  Does it mean we can l...

There are days I really love the town I live in and at the same time really hate it.  Even though it's a midsize city, it can be like living in a small town.   Everyone knows your business.  And, everyone is willing to crawl all up in it and share it with everyone.  It can be a real big pain in the behind. Except for days like today.  It's today that I remember why I live here.  It's days like today when I cry because I live in a community that surrounds, loves, and takes care of its own.  (We will love you to death if you let us.)  I remember that I live in a place where we'll hit our knees for you in a heartbeat, bring you dinner (thankfully I didn't mix the tomatoes with anything else), clean your house, take your kids where you need them to be, and bug you to let us do more for you! Those of you who live here know what I'm talking about, and you're probably laughing and shaking your head.  It's a well oiled machine, and we run it lik...

Today I was reading a few posts on Facebook.  Yes, I still get on it.  Yes, I like it, a lot.  I'm also my daughter's secretary & administrative assistant, so I have to get on to update her business page.  :)  There has been some chatter about cell phones and social media on Facebook the last few days. ESPN did a story about Madison Holleran , a U of Penn runner that committed suicide.  Everyone was shocked because on her Instagram page she looked so happy.  Hey everyone, news flash here, most people only let you see their "good side" on social media.  Do I post pics of myself or my fam looking bad?  Of course I don't.  (well, except when I posted one of Henry getting his braces & he had that mouth thing in, but it was hilarious!)  Do I want people to think I've got it all together all the time?  Of course I do!  For those of you who already didn't know, social media is not real life.  For those who post sel...

It's May.  If you are a mom with multiple children at home, you know what that means.  It means it's crazy, and you don't know your name; your children's names; or really what day it is.  Most of my mom friends will tell you May is worse than December.  We all have to stick together to make it through to the last weeks of school, sports, dance, graduation etc.! Sports teams are starting to wrap up.  If you had rain outs during your season you very well could end up with 4 games in a week...because we all have time for that.  There are team parties, coach's & team mom gifts.  Don't forget teacher gifts, dance teacher gifts, bible study leader gifts, Sunday school teacher gifts...well, you get the idea.  If you have a graduating senior, hold on tight, because it's a world wind that everyone just expects you to know about.  Parties, gifts, gifts and parties, there's a little school thrown in too. Today, I sat down for 2 minutes and came ...

This is going to be short & sweet b/c it's April, and it's lacrosse season, and I have about a million and one things that have to be done tonight.  Know I have lots of postings rolling around in my head, but not enough hours in the day to sit down and spit them out. :)  With all that & a graduating senior that is just the way it is. Here are a few big things: 1st ~ So proud of my alma mater & my kids' high school!  They raised over $250K for Relay for Life.  That's over a quarter of a million dollars y'all!  Since both of my parents died from different forms of cancer, I'm super excited about how this money will be used for research.  Speaking of research, if you haven't seen the new immuno- treatment breakthroughs for certain kinds of brain tumors & skin cancer, google them.  Exciting things for sure.    2nd ~ I met an amazing young mom of three that has tested positive for the Alzheimer's Dominantly Inherited Gene...

My dad, close to the same age as Hopson is in the picture below. The day my dad passed away he was 44 years, 1 month & 15 days old.  It's amazing how time offers perspective.  A 20 year old sees their 40+ parents as a little aged.  Yeah, they have their moments when you can see them as they were 20 years ago, but they are still old.  Time has made that 44 years seem younger and younger.  I'm sure my kiddos think Hopson & I are older than dirt.  Hopson & I don't make a habit of acting like we did in our 20's in front of our children.  So, I guess in some ways were are old  mature.  :)  I've been thinking about all the different aspects of this for the last few weeks.  I was so distracted by it one day that I may or may not have accidentally run a red light.   February 15th Hopson will be 44 years, 1 month & 15 days old.  The exact age as my dad was May 7, 1992.  The day of his death.  Hop i...

This is an older pic but it's one of my faves. My favorite daughter, E. Yesterday I posted Rules to Date my Son .  I'm sure some people didn't think it was very funny.  Was it meant to be satirical?  Yes.  Was it meant to be serious?  Yes.  Hopson said I was a little heavy on making my sons' girlfriends miserable.  (Note to self, 1x is plenty.  And, I'm not really going to be that mean, yeesh.)  I don't want or like to be mean.  It takes to much energy.  I like to be the happy me.  :)  See, I'm smiling...sorry, rabbit trail. We are living in an age where there are many who want to feminize men.  We want them to express their feelings.  We want them to be more nurturing.  Well, if a guy is already that way, great.  But if he's not naturally that way, don't try to force him to change.  (Hence Rule #6)  I don't expect the young ladies who date my sons to be more manly.  It's just sill...