A Year in the Life

Today marks the 18th celebration of my 29th birthday.  😁  In case you need a little help in your addition, that makes me 47.  47!  Wow, my cake is going to put off some smoke.  And yes, in case you're wondering, I do want a cake.  Cake makes people happy, especially me.  Chocolate on chocolate with raspberry filling.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it. What have I learned in my 47 years?  A bunch of different random stuff.  The scary thing is that it's all rolling around in my head at one time.  Maybe that's why I walk into a room & can't remember why I walked in it.  Or it could be that I have 4 children, 2 dogs, and a husband, and they have sucked all the good brain cells from me.  (or killed them, you decide)   This year also marks the 20th year that I have been the matriarch.  It's been a long road filled with mistakes & tons of learning.  Many days are great & man...

The happiest days are the days when babies come!    ~Melanie from Gone With the Wind Today is a happy day...well it really started yesterday.  Yesterday my parent's 7th grandchild was born.  My younger brother, Cotton, had his third child.  He's now in the big time.  It's interesting when you go from man on man to zone coverage.  You parents of 3+ kids know.  If there is silence, something bad is going down.  But I know that the happiest of days are the ones when babies are born. I was scrolling through my sister-in-laws pictures and loved seeing all of the ones of their older two with the new baby.  It made me think back to when all of my chicks were little.  I was fine until I saw one picture.  It is a picture that broke my heart.  I'm going to admit my selfishness upfront, right now.  It was a pic of her mom with the new baby.  I realized that it is a picture my mom and dad will never have.  An...

Today is a happy day  It's Hopson's birthday.  He's 29...again.  He's off with Harry & Henry hunting in Clarksdale.  It's his birthday & I want him to do what he loves.  I think he would really love it if it were warm outside so he could sit on the porch at the lake during the gloaming .  It's his favorite time of day.  He would be drinking a beer & playing Rummikub with the fam.  There would be love, lots of laughter & me getting eaten by mosquitoes.  For his birthday I didn't spend any money.  It's one of the things he always wants.  Hopson works hard for our fam & he is the best builder, fixer, ski instructor (water & snow) & manliness passer oner around.  I did get a chuckle at his expense the other night.  He loves to brag about how he still gets carded.  We had a Costco date, and as we were checking out, the wine he was purchasing was scanned right over the bar-code reader &...

 A friend from grade school was going through old pictures and found a picture of the house I grew up in.  I have wonderful memories from that home.  We played football in the front yard, swam in the pool, built homecoming signs, and watched movies and the 1984 Olympics.  My parents let me invite the entire 8th grade over to swim the day we officially became 9th graders.  That house is filled with laughter.    My parents didn't care about your background.  They didn't care what kind of home you came from.  They wanted you to feel loved and accepted when you came over to our house.  It was a house that love built.  It's funny looking back.  You think that some kids have it all together just to find out they saw themselves as misfits.  I was always the one who felt like I was on the fringe.  Not cool, not as smart as I wanted to be, not a lot of things.  I wonder how many other kids felt & feel like that to...

Hop's graduation from Auburn this May. First off, I know how weird this is.  I've posted two days in a row after not writing anything for almost a year.  All my coherent thoughts are finally surfacing after all this time. :) How my life has changed in 10 years!  10 years ago I was a crazy and stressed mom of 4 ages 5-12.  Fast forward to today & I'm still crazy, but I'm now a mom of 4 ages 15-22.  I don't know where those 10 years went, but they flew by.  While I was driving children places, teaching kids how to drive, cooking dinner, folding clothes, and monitoring homework, all my little chicks grew up.  I have always loved my children.  Duh, they're mine.  What I've really noticed over the last few years is that I like them, and I tell my children I like them.  At first they said:  "you have to we are your children", but that's an untrue statement.  I have to love them, but not like them.  I heard a mom say sh...

Can I say that I am happy I don't have a senior in high school this year?  I am.  It's emotional and stressful, and goes by way to quickly, and emotional.  I realized all of this when Hop was a freshman in high school. I'm sitting on a somewhat toasty Monday night watching Hop play in a Freshman football game.  No one comes to the freshman football games but the freshman cheerleaders, and parents of the players and cheerleaders.  We were about half way through his season, and it hit me that I only had 3 more years to watch him...do just about anything.  I voiced it to another mom & of course I started to cry.  I mean, yesterday he was going into 1st grade to be a Hooper Trooper & now he was in high school and time was blowin' and goin'.  Time continued to speed up as each year passed, and he left the nest, and hasn't looked back since. Then Harry hits high school; a few years later Hop graduates.  Harry is a senior (I really thi...

Dear Facebook, I wanted to let you know how much I really hate you right now.  You have turned my country, state, and city upside down.  You have made enemies out of friends and ripped us in half, and left us bleeding out.  You have lawmakers removing historical monuments because someone screamed 'those are racist'.  The 'R' word scares the holy h.e.double hockey sticks out of people, and sometimes makes them think that by just removing a symbol we can take away the pain of the past.  Wrong.  A symbol is just a symbol & an individual is the only one that can give it any power.  Hate lives within a person not a thing. To the leaders of our country, state & city:  FYI, this is a southern state.  FYI, we were part of the confederacy.  Does that mean we still believe in slavery?  No.  Does it mean that we believe in the segregation and exclusion that some people assign to this state?  No.  Does it mean we can l...

Somebody write it down, I'm blogging two days in a row.  So much is going through my melon & this is my therapy.  Well, this and getting my hair done, but this is free.  Hopson likes free, but my hair does look much better.  Anyway... Last year some of E's friends had a lyrical dance to the song "When a Heart Breaks" by Ben Rector .  (here's a cool remake that's acca-awesome .)  This song is one of my faves, although I would change one of the lyrics.  When you hear it you'll know which one I mean. Have you ever had events in your life where you have literally felt your heart break?  The, I just need to lay down and wish the earth would swallow me whole, kind of breaks?  I have, and this song just speaks to my soul.  I have felt almost every emotion he talks about.  If you haven't been through something that shatters your heart, prepare yourself because it's coming.  None of us escape it, because we live in a fallen crea...

It's May.  If you are a mom with multiple children at home, you know what that means.  It means it's crazy, and you don't know your name; your children's names; or really what day it is.  Most of my mom friends will tell you May is worse than December.  We all have to stick together to make it through to the last weeks of school, sports, dance, graduation etc.! Sports teams are starting to wrap up.  If you had rain outs during your season you very well could end up with 4 games in a week...because we all have time for that.  There are team parties, coach's & team mom gifts.  Don't forget teacher gifts, dance teacher gifts, bible study leader gifts, Sunday school teacher gifts...well, you get the idea.  If you have a graduating senior, hold on tight, because it's a world wind that everyone just expects you to know about.  Parties, gifts, gifts and parties, there's a little school thrown in too. Today, I sat down for 2 minutes and came ...

My dad, close to the same age as Hopson is in the picture below. The day my dad passed away he was 44 years, 1 month & 15 days old.  It's amazing how time offers perspective.  A 20 year old sees their 40+ parents as a little aged.  Yeah, they have their moments when you can see them as they were 20 years ago, but they are still old.  Time has made that 44 years seem younger and younger.  I'm sure my kiddos think Hopson & I are older than dirt.  Hopson & I don't make a habit of acting like we did in our 20's in front of our children.  So, I guess in some ways were are old  mature.  :)  I've been thinking about all the different aspects of this for the last few weeks.  I was so distracted by it one day that I may or may not have accidentally run a red light.   February 15th Hopson will be 44 years, 1 month & 15 days old.  The exact age as my dad was May 7, 1992.  The day of his death.  Hop i...

How do you measure a year in the life?  Yesterday was 9/11.  Do you remember?  Do you remember where you were that Tuesday 13 years ago?  I do.  It took 102 minutes from start to finish.  102 minutes that have changed everything for the United States of America.  I still can't talk about it without crying.  I'm not from New York and I didn't have a family member killed that day, but my heart hurts just the same.  I so wish I could forget, but our country can never go back.  I imagine this is how my grandparents felt about December 7th.   I watched a special last night on TLC about the 102 minutes.  It was foreboding knowing what was going to happen.  I was heartbroken knowing that the firemen I saw on the screen probably did not make it out of the buildings alive.  I could feel the panic among all the people filming & watching the first tower & then the pandemonium that erupted when the second plane flew int...

Over the last week we have all been talking about Robin Williams.  What a wonderful actor with a tragic end.  He brought laughter to multitudes, but all the while he was in pain.  It started me thinking...what if we had the chance to tell him how much he moved us?  What if we told him that just his smile made our hearts a little lighter?  What if...what if...what if. Why do we wait until someone has passed away to realize how special they are to us?  We go to their funerals & talk about what great people they were; how much they are going to be missed; how we're praying for their family; but neglect them while they are living.  Why do I not call, text or email to let them know now?  Why don't I call them up to meet for lunch?  Is it life that gets in the way?  Am I just a selfish lazy person?  Am I too proud? If you knew someone was hurting, to the point of wanting to commit suicide, what would you say to them?  Would y...

Today is that crazy Henry's 12th birthday.  No more little kids in this house, and I have to say, it's kinda nice.  Everyone has been able to wipe their own fanny, tie their own shoes, make beds, fold clothes and do chores for a few years now.  It's nice to have at least a little help from the people who make the mess.  Each baby is a miracle & I think it's important for each child to know stories about their pregnancy and birth, so I'm documenting Henry's here. But before I go any further...Happy Birthday Hen!  We love you bunches & bunches!  You are #4 & you have completed our fam. Henry is our little surprise baby.  We had three children & were clicking along.  E was 1 1/2 and I could see a light at the end of the diaper tunnel.  Then one day I woke up, and just like with every other pregnancy, started throwing up...everything.  I was sick all the time.  (and those of you who think I needed to eat saltines ...

The freshman, 6th grader, senior & college sophomore This  year has been a haze.  How is it already June???  I mean, I know May flies, but we are almost half way through 2014.  Yeah, I don't think I like it, except that means we are a little over 6 months away from my birthday.  :)  December 26th, you gotta love it.  Sorry, rabbit trail!  But seriously, do you know why I don't like time moving so quickly?  It is because my kids are growing up too fast.  I worked so hard to get them all independent & then when they get really fun they leave.  :/  Not only do they leave, they really love their independence.  Hop only came home a handful of times last year, and now we are going to be getting Harry ready for the same thing, thank goodness I have another year with him. But... We are about to start another year of lasts.  Harry's lasts.  Not ready!  He'll be getting his senior portrait stuff in the ...

How do you cram 20 years into 400 words or less?  How can it even come close to everything Hopson & I have experienced together?  In truth, it can't.  But, I'm going to give it 'the old college try'. I met Hopson at Auburn.  We were on a double date, with different people.  My life was about to change forever & he remembered my name.  It's funny what a difference it is when someone calls you by your name.  I will never forget that day.  Hopson was helping to build Fiji Island.  He was shirtless (which was not a bad sight); he smiled at me and said 'Hey Ashley, I'm Hopson'.  We talked for a bit & I went to visit my friends at the house.  May 7th my dad passed away & I was thrown into a funk.  I didn't a pretty good job hiding it, but I don't remember a lot from that summer.  Hopson says he called me to go on a date with him in June (I think), and claims I stood him up, but I don't remember it.  Then h...

Hop receiving his diploma Last night Hop graduated from high school.  No, I didn't cry.  I was very proud of myself.  I was so excited for him.  I remembered when it was my turn to walk across the stage to receive my diploma, and how excited I was.  I focused on his excitement.  I thought about how hard he has worked to get to this point.  How could I cry? Hop with GiGi & Pop Then there was today.  Yep today.  Hop is leaving Saturday to go to DC for a summer internship.   I wrote about it ; I know you're shocked.  I was fine as long as I stayed focused on him graduating, but when I thought about my little chick flying the nest, I started crying. Hop & David We are up in his room.  I'm helping him go through some last minute packing and asked him if he packed his favorite hat.  (Tahara, it's the distressed Rebels hat.  :)  I think of you every time he wears it.)  I couldn't finish th...

21 years.  That's how long it's been.  21 years since my sweet roommates came to get me out of class to let me know about my dad.  Kim had to drive me home because my leg was in a full leg cast.  You know what I've decided?  21 years is a long time.  So much has happened in that time...so much life has happened.  Before you tell me that my parents have been watching everything from heaven, please know I know that.  Trust me, it's not the same.  I'm not trying to be mean, but there are days I just wish my parents could physically see and talk to my fam.  It's just life. You know I didn't even think about my dad when I woke up this morning.  I was focused on life with four kids in May.  May is crazy.  I finally realized that today is his angelversary when I was driving carpool & was trying to remember if Hop had an AP exam today.  I remembered E needs tights for her recital this weekend ...

You know when you hear a worship song & you just want to start dancing?  Kinda like David did when the Israelites were bringing back the ark into Jerusalem.  It's in 2 Samuel 6 and in 1 Chronicles.  It just pure joy of the Lord coming over you.  If you've never felt it, worship Him with all that you are & it will, I promise.  It just bubbles up inside you & you can't help yourself.  It's a physical manifestation of the spiritual. I had one of those moments yesterday in  my car of all places.  It's a little hard to dance while you're driving, but I was dancing in my heart & worshiping with everything I was.  It was really cool.  While I was listening to the words I saw the many different ways God has fulfilled the words of this song.  He is always faithful and you just have to look to the Word becoming flesh to realize He is the great I Am.  We serve an amazing Lord...W...

Yeah, he's pretty hot! God is so cool.  He always gives me something happy to think of on sad occasions.  Today is big Hopson's birthday.  Happy Birthday to Honey Daddy!  I love that man & sometimes he drives me crazy.  I guess that's how it is when you've been married for almost two decades.  :)  He hates for us to draw attention to him on his birthday; he would be happy to just let it pass with no fanfare, cake or gifts.  Whatever!  I need cake, it makes me happy.  He just wants to be in the woods, so I let him go. Today is also another special day.  It's my mother's angelversary.  She has been in heaven 15 years today.  3:31 pm is the exact time, just in case you're wondering.  I have been the matriarch of my family for 15 years.  I never wanted that role.  I still don't want it.  I would rather have my mom back, faults and all.  (except when my kiddos trash the house)  Ho...

The story of redemption.  The story of love.  The story of us all. This is the movie version of the longest running musical; Broadway's Les Miserables.  It is, hands down, one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.  We saw it Christmas afternoon along with, I think, half of the city.  :)  We were a little late getting to the theater and ended up sitting on the second row.  Big, the characters on the screen were very big. :)  I think they would have been big even if I was sitting in the back row.  Don't miss this movie! I knew Les Mis would affect me after watching it for 5 minutes.  The condemnation, the shame and guilt carried around by Jean Valjean mirrors every person before we realize who we are in Christ's eyes.  We carry our burdens around like boulders strapped to our backs.  Straining under the weight of our sins, and trying to hide the scars.  It's a burden, b...