A Year in the Life

I don't make resolutions.  I used to, but wisely I quit.  I figured when I kept breaking them after a few weeks or months that something had to change, and it had to start with my thoughts and actions.  Here are a few of my failed resolutions: Don't failures look so much prettier when they look like that?  Still, they are places where I fell short, and that is where the most learning takes place.  What I really learned is that I needed to be a person of action instead of talk.  Talk is cheap.  It's easy to say I'm going to do something, but the follow-through is another issue.  I can say I'll love my fam, but unless I actually do it the words are meaningless.  I figured what was the use in making resolutions if it was all talk and no action.  I had to make lifestyle changes.  Instead of just wanting to read my bible, workout & lose weight, I made changes to make sure I did.  I started by putting things on my ca...

Today marks the 18th celebration of my 29th birthday.  😁  In case you need a little help in your addition, that makes me 47.  47!  Wow, my cake is going to put off some smoke.  And yes, in case you're wondering, I do want a cake.  Cake makes people happy, especially me.  Chocolate on chocolate with raspberry filling.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it. What have I learned in my 47 years?  A bunch of different random stuff.  The scary thing is that it's all rolling around in my head at one time.  Maybe that's why I walk into a room & can't remember why I walked in it.  Or it could be that I have 4 children, 2 dogs, and a husband, and they have sucked all the good brain cells from me.  (or killed them, you decide)   This year also marks the 20th year that I have been the matriarch.  It's been a long road filled with mistakes & tons of learning.  Many days are great & man...

So, I was watching the news this morning.  Of course they started talking about national politics and what members in both parties were doing, and I'm just done.  The fighting and negativity is uncalled for.  These people are supposed to be some of the smartest in our country, but in some ways the are just doltish.  Here are some things I've learned during my five years subbing & now working in my school. 1.  I don't agree with everyone's views on things, and that is ok.  What our country has lost is the ability to agree to disagree.  I may stand on the completely opposite end of the spectrum on an issue, but I'm not going to hate you for it.  That's stupid.  We can agree that we stand on different sides of the isle, and maybe we can find somewhere we agree. 2.  "You're never fully dressed without a smile." ~Annie  I love the university I graduated from.  I love it for so many different reasons, but one of the main o...

The happiest days are the days when babies come!    ~Melanie from Gone With the Wind Today is a happy day...well it really started yesterday.  Yesterday my parent's 7th grandchild was born.  My younger brother, Cotton, had his third child.  He's now in the big time.  It's interesting when you go from man on man to zone coverage.  You parents of 3+ kids know.  If there is silence, something bad is going down.  But I know that the happiest of days are the ones when babies are born. I was scrolling through my sister-in-laws pictures and loved seeing all of the ones of their older two with the new baby.  It made me think back to when all of my chicks were little.  I was fine until I saw one picture.  It is a picture that broke my heart.  I'm going to admit my selfishness upfront, right now.  It was a pic of her mom with the new baby.  I realized that it is a picture my mom and dad will never have.  An...

I recently had to talk to a child at school about her safety.  She was afraid that something bad would happen to her if someone dangerous broke into the school.  As we talked, I started really stewing about what she was telling me.  Here are my thoughts about stopping school violence.  I don't have the answer, but I know what my responsibility is as a parent. 1.  I have to teach my children to, first and foremost, be kind.  Especially to those who need it most.  People say they value kindness, but when I look at the state of our country and communities I wonder how committed we are to it.  I walk the halls and am in class with students all day.  I have seen the looks and the mean giggles towards some students that a few have thought it was funny to give.  How it breaks my heart.  The ones they are laughing at need acceptance, but may not know how to ask for it. 2.  Teach your child to stand up for those weaker than the...

Today is a happy day  It's Hopson's birthday.  He's 29...again.  He's off with Harry & Henry hunting in Clarksdale.  It's his birthday & I want him to do what he loves.  I think he would really love it if it were warm outside so he could sit on the porch at the lake during the gloaming .  It's his favorite time of day.  He would be drinking a beer & playing Rummikub with the fam.  There would be love, lots of laughter & me getting eaten by mosquitoes.  For his birthday I didn't spend any money.  It's one of the things he always wants.  Hopson works hard for our fam & he is the best builder, fixer, ski instructor (water & snow) & manliness passer oner around.  I did get a chuckle at his expense the other night.  He loves to brag about how he still gets carded.  We had a Costco date, and as we were checking out, the wine he was purchasing was scanned right over the bar-code reader &...

and I think I have OCD. The older I get the more I like things 'just so'.  Well, maybe a little more than just so.   I had to run to the grocery store to get some noodles for tonight's dinner, because of course I forgot to get them yesterday when I went to the grocery store.  The joys of getting older & speed grocery.  We have a grocery store that has smaller carts that I have fallen in love with.  I only have two chicks at home, so I don't need a ginormous cart anymore.  This isn't so much about the carts themselves but about the cart return areas.  One a side note, I'll admit I'm somewhat lazy.  I don't park my car closest to the door to the grocery store, I park by the cart return.  It's also a habit.  Ever tried loading four littles into the car, putting all your groceries in the car & then returning the cart before your children die from a heat stroke & everything frozen melts?  Good times.  The way ...

I even asked nicely.  I have sacrifices I need to make.  Just kidding.  In case you didn't know, I'm allergic to alcohol.  Yes, it includes all kinds of alcohol.  Even if it's clear without sulfides I will have a reaction.  It's really pretty.  Think temporary hives & swelling.  Yeah, it's great. Last night I went out to dinner with a group of girlfriends.  It was hot & humid...duh, it's summer in Alabama.  My hair was exceptionally big, but that's another story.  I asked my waiter if I could have a virgin margarita.  It's a limeade with salt, but hey, I was in the mood for it.  It was so pretty when he brought it out.  It was limey & I really wanted to use the glass as a salt lick, but decided to use my manners instead. The first sip was so refreshing.  After about 3 sips, I started wondering if there was some alcohol in the drink.  I was starting to laugh a little  more, and I noti...

Time, ugh.  I picked up E's senior pictures today  & then I started looking through pictures trying to find one of Elizabeth when she was little & found a bunch when all of mine were small.  I don't remember them growing so quickly.  I know didn't want them to grow up quite so fast & I think a small part of me has changed my mind.  There is a little piece that misses the crazy schedule and all the teaching moments ahead.  It seems they were all here & now most of them are gone.  It's funny because this is how I still see them, not how they are today.  I'll be ok...maybe the next time I see a screaming toddler, or a child that has projectile vomiting.  It has been a great ride so far & I will appreciate every second I see all my crazy kiddos no matter how old they are. Celebrating Life, ~ashley

The "most dreaded" phrase for all children and teenagers.  There are many who feel this phrase should be not used when talking to children.  They say it's vague and authoritarian.  I had an epiphany this weekend about what 'because I said so' really means & what it should mean to our children when we say it. When parents use 'because I said so' the first thing we want you, our children, to do is to have trust that the decision we have made is in your best interest.  Sometimes we don't have time to sit down and explain every thought that went into our final decision, but we need y'all to understand we have your best interest in our hearts. We need you to know we have years  of life's experiences under our belts.  We understand that in your teenage minds you are already grown-up, but let me assure you, you are not.  Oftentimes we will consult with other adults (some older & some our peers) to get to our decision if we are vacillat...

Everyday women are amazing.  I know many people look up to celebrities, but honestly, I know regular people who are incredible mothers and professionals.  They get up everyday, grind it out, and don't expect special treatment for doing the normal.  Family and friends are the ones ordinary women lean on, because no one thinks twice about the normal.  Everyday things accomplished by a non-celebrity go unnoticed, but you have a celebrity talk about or do anything , and people lose their ever-loving-minds.  It's nuts, and pregnancy is a big one. Have you seen some of the names celebrities come up with for their kids?  Just Google it...yikes.   There are those women who love being pregnant.  Their skin glows; their hair is silky smooth; and their nails are super strong.  They can eat what ever they like and they sleep beautifully.  Yeah, I don't like those people.  Just kidding; really am just jealous.  I fell into the lucky 10% o...

I'm hard on my stuff.  I don't mean to be, but I am.  I guess I fall into the work hard/play hard category.  (or at least that's what I'm telling myself.)  It's something I didn't mean to pass onto the chicks, but I did.  Ugh, can we have anything around here that's not chipped or broken?  Feel free to giggle at the pic on the left, because it's pretty funny when you see it for the first time. Speaking of chipped or broken stuff...I have a love/hate relationship with my fitbit.  It's great because I roughly know how many steps I take a day & the amount of calories I burn.  I'm super competitive and it allows me to compete against others while making me get off my booty to do it.  At my age I need all the exercise I can get.  The muscles are not holding their tone as long as they used to, and they have to be worked pretty hard.  My first fitbit I had wouldn't keep a charge after a few months so the company sent me a replaceme...

All I have ever wanted for my children is for them to be kind and generous to someone in need without wanting anything in return.  I'm willing to bet if I polled 100 people, at least 99 of you want the same for your children as well.  It's something we all want, but how many times do we not see little ways we can help others.  There is no act of service that is small because it may be big for someone else.  As parents, grandparents, and mentors we have to lead by example. What I've learned is children are not innately kind and generous.  Ever had a two year old tell you "mine!" or not willing to share toys?  Ask me how many times I broke up my kiddos arguing over who would share what toy & who hit whom.  Ever tried to ask a child/teenager to help do anything that they didn't really want to do?  (cut the grass, unload the dishwasher, fold clothes, pick up toys...does anyone out there feel me?)  Like I said, children are not innately ki...

A letter: Dear sweet high school girl trying out for __________,  (insert your team name here) I wanted to let you know that God really doesn't care if you make said team.  Yes, He gave you the ability to throw a layout full; pull a firebird right after you've done 8 turns in second; have the largest range in the choir; be able to debate the questions until your blue in the face; kick and catch any ball,  but that's not what He cares about.  He doesn't love you more because you've made those teams.  He loves you. Period.  Every little flaw you think you have, He created, and in reality it's not a flaw, only you just think it is.  He thinks you're beautiful and wonderful and His. Have you ever noticed when people make or do something great they always praise God's name and quote scripture?  Have you ever heard anyone praise Him when they didn't get something they've trained years for?  When you've been rejected and told you're no...

UAB Sigma Kappa 2015 Colonization Class Today was an exciting day.  It was one of those days that you celebrate the joys of youth.  It was the kind of day that old people watch and smile and remember when it was their turn to celebrate and be celebrated. Today my sorority colonized a new chapter.  Sigma Kappa is now part of the sorority experience at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.  I am so excited I can't even stand it. The young women in the room were beautiful, smart, enthusiastic and diverse.  A colonization class is special.  They are the trailblazers.  They will set the tone of the UAB chapter for years to come.  If what I saw today is an indication of this chapter's future...WOW, these young women are going to rock this sorority thing! I was talking with all the alumnae in the room, and the really neat thing is, there was only one from my home chapter.  Alumnae groups are made up of women from all over the United State...

Dear Facebook, I wanted to let you know how much I really hate you right now.  You have turned my country, state, and city upside down.  You have made enemies out of friends and ripped us in half, and left us bleeding out.  You have lawmakers removing historical monuments because someone screamed 'those are racist'.  The 'R' word scares the holy h.e.double hockey sticks out of people, and sometimes makes them think that by just removing a symbol we can take away the pain of the past.  Wrong.  A symbol is just a symbol & an individual is the only one that can give it any power.  Hate lives within a person not a thing. To the leaders of our country, state & city:  FYI, this is a southern state.  FYI, we were part of the confederacy.  Does that mean we still believe in slavery?  No.  Does it mean that we believe in the segregation and exclusion that some people assign to this state?  No.  Does it mean we can l...

Somebody write it down, I'm blogging two days in a row.  So much is going through my melon & this is my therapy.  Well, this and getting my hair done, but this is free.  Hopson likes free, but my hair does look much better.  Anyway... Last year some of E's friends had a lyrical dance to the song "When a Heart Breaks" by Ben Rector .  (here's a cool remake that's acca-awesome .)  This song is one of my faves, although I would change one of the lyrics.  When you hear it you'll know which one I mean. Have you ever had events in your life where you have literally felt your heart break?  The, I just need to lay down and wish the earth would swallow me whole, kind of breaks?  I have, and this song just speaks to my soul.  I have felt almost every emotion he talks about.  If you haven't been through something that shatters your heart, prepare yourself because it's coming.  None of us escape it, because we live in a fallen crea...

There are days I really love the town I live in and at the same time really hate it.  Even though it's a midsize city, it can be like living in a small town.   Everyone knows your business.  And, everyone is willing to crawl all up in it and share it with everyone.  It can be a real big pain in the behind. Except for days like today.  It's today that I remember why I live here.  It's days like today when I cry because I live in a community that surrounds, loves, and takes care of its own.  (We will love you to death if you let us.)  I remember that I live in a place where we'll hit our knees for you in a heartbeat, bring you dinner (thankfully I didn't mix the tomatoes with anything else), clean your house, take your kids where you need them to be, and bug you to let us do more for you! Those of you who live here know what I'm talking about, and you're probably laughing and shaking your head.  It's a well oiled machine, and we run it lik...

This is an older pic but it's one of my faves. My favorite daughter, E. Yesterday I posted Rules to Date my Son .  I'm sure some people didn't think it was very funny.  Was it meant to be satirical?  Yes.  Was it meant to be serious?  Yes.  Hopson said I was a little heavy on making my sons' girlfriends miserable.  (Note to self, 1x is plenty.  And, I'm not really going to be that mean, yeesh.)  I don't want or like to be mean.  It takes to much energy.  I like to be the happy me.  :)  See, I'm smiling...sorry, rabbit trail. We are living in an age where there are many who want to feminize men.  We want them to express their feelings.  We want them to be more nurturing.  Well, if a guy is already that way, great.  But if he's not naturally that way, don't try to force him to change.  (Hence Rule #6)  I don't expect the young ladies who date my sons to be more manly.  It's just sill...

Hop & some of his Dance Marathon friends in college.  Everywhere on the web you can find rules to date my daughter.  And, I do mean everywhere.  When you start typing "rules to date" in Google, 4 of the 5 will be female related.  It's true, we do have to watch out for our daughters, but in all honesty, I'm also worried about my sons. The one & only Harry... Sometimes you don't see straight when the love goggles are on.  We've told all our children that if we say something about someone  you bring home to meet us, it's not that we don't like them.  We may see a level of crazy that you can't see through said goggles.  Hopson & I are pretty doggone good at finding crazy.  And no, in this case it's not "it takes one to know one".  We're weird, not crazy; they are two very different things.  But beware to all who come to my home, I'll find out if you're crazy... Henry (on the right) & his friend ...