A Year in the Life

My fam loves pizza.  A few summers ago I think I averaged cooking at least 2 homemade pizzas a week. I like homemade pizzas better because I know exactly what is on it & can load it with different kinds of vegetables & the people will gobble it up.  Tonight, I went into uncharted territory.  Henry is trying to lean up for lacrosse season.  Being 16, it shouldn't take him that long.  I hate teenage boys.  They can burn 1000 calories by just blinking.  That's fair, said no momma ever.  I've been on a diet most of my life & I'm still trying to lose baby weight I gained when I was pregnant with Henry.  Granted he is 16, but I still have about 10 pounds I need to get off.  I'm thinking at this point it may just be a permanent part of the bod, boo.  Anyway...  Henry started eating much leaner last week, aaannnddd he lost 5 pounds in one week.  (Insert huge eye roll here.)  All he did was cut down on his...

Harry (22), Elizabeth (18), Hopson (24) & Henry (16) Christmas season is so wonderful because everyone comes home.  It's also great because once Christmas is over they leave.  But not this year.  I was just getting into the habit of cooking for 3.  It's a big difference cooking for 3 instead of 6.  Henry was loving being an only child.  Like really loving it.  He had the entire upstairs to himself.  He could spread out all his stuff & be king.  Last year he moved into Harry's old room & since it wasn't everything he wanted he then moved into Hop's room.  In September Hop asked if he could move home for a time.  His lease was up on his apartment & he wanted to take his time finding a new place to live.  We said ok as long as he didn't expect to live at home forever. At about the same time Harry told us he had a Co-Op with a building company in Birmingham.  Obviously, we wanted him to live at home....

This year has been CraZY!  Kids moving in, kids moving out, jobs, volunteering & just life, in general, has made this year fly.  We did take some time out this Christmas to go visit my brother & his family in Tampa.  Every time we go down there I have to remind myself that if Cotton wants to engage in high-risk behavior I will go & have fun & think about potential consequences later.  Cotton has a history of having us do dangerous activities. What are some of those you might ask?  Well, I'm glad you did.  Canoeing with alligators, hang-gliding, trapeze lessons, and paddleboarding (potentially with sharks).  The main thing missing from this list is skydiving.  We knew there was a high probability Cotton would book us all tandem jumps for Christmas.  I accepted it, because what am I supposed to do, let my kids go & me not?  I don't think so.  In the car, we were all in agreement Cotton was going to tell us w...

Each day I check my online news feed.  Each day I see some things that disturb me to no end.  Can I say there are some very bad people out there who are maiming and killing their children in the most horrendous ways?  I don't know if the parents are mentally ill or just tired of their kids, but reading these stories day after day is breaking my mommy's heart. I know there are some out there who have children because they want someone to love them.  I've heard someone say this before, so I'm not making it up.  Anyone who has children knows that your kids do show you love, but they also can be very irritating, a pain in the booty,  difficult.  Ask a mother of a toddler, or a child you are teaching to read, or a teenager.  Yeah, the struggle is real.  What I'm really wondering is, how do these parents think hurting or killing their children was an option when they became frustrated or tired of parenting.  With 4 kids, I've been there, b...

The happiest days are the days when babies come!    ~Melanie from Gone With the Wind Today is a happy day...well it really started yesterday.  Yesterday my parent's 7th grandchild was born.  My younger brother, Cotton, had his third child.  He's now in the big time.  It's interesting when you go from man on man to zone coverage.  You parents of 3+ kids know.  If there is silence, something bad is going down.  But I know that the happiest of days are the ones when babies are born. I was scrolling through my sister-in-laws pictures and loved seeing all of the ones of their older two with the new baby.  It made me think back to when all of my chicks were little.  I was fine until I saw one picture.  It is a picture that broke my heart.  I'm going to admit my selfishness upfront, right now.  It was a pic of her mom with the new baby.  I realized that it is a picture my mom and dad will never have.  An...

I recently had to talk to a child at school about her safety.  She was afraid that something bad would happen to her if someone dangerous broke into the school.  As we talked, I started really stewing about what she was telling me.  Here are my thoughts about stopping school violence.  I don't have the answer, but I know what my responsibility is as a parent. 1.  I have to teach my children to, first and foremost, be kind.  Especially to those who need it most.  People say they value kindness, but when I look at the state of our country and communities I wonder how committed we are to it.  I walk the halls and am in class with students all day.  I have seen the looks and the mean giggles towards some students that a few have thought it was funny to give.  How it breaks my heart.  The ones they are laughing at need acceptance, but may not know how to ask for it. 2.  Teach your child to stand up for those weaker than the...

And Loving... I recently started a new job.  Yes, at my age it can be a little scary, but it's been great.  Before I go forward, a little back story first... ...For the last 4 1/2 years I have been a sub in my children's school system.  (if you are a mom, love kids, and need a great way to make a little spending money, I highly recommend it.)  I loved being a sub!  I was able to be like everyone's favorite aunt.  You know the one I'm talking about.  She the one who comes in and loves you for you.  She helps you get through the have to's so you can have a little fun while your mom's not around. The way a sub enters a classroom is SO important.  You have to be confident, because it's true the children can smell fear, but you also have to be available to the kids:  available to offer an ear, extra help, smiles, a few hugs, and maybe even a little discipline in a life-giving way. We would play 4 corners if everyone finished with thei...

Today is a happy day  It's Hopson's birthday.  He's 29...again.  He's off with Harry & Henry hunting in Clarksdale.  It's his birthday & I want him to do what he loves.  I think he would really love it if it were warm outside so he could sit on the porch at the lake during the gloaming .  It's his favorite time of day.  He would be drinking a beer & playing Rummikub with the fam.  There would be love, lots of laughter & me getting eaten by mosquitoes.  For his birthday I didn't spend any money.  It's one of the things he always wants.  Hopson works hard for our fam & he is the best builder, fixer, ski instructor (water & snow) & manliness passer oner around.  I did get a chuckle at his expense the other night.  He loves to brag about how he still gets carded.  We had a Costco date, and as we were checking out, the wine he was purchasing was scanned right over the bar-code reader &...

Time, ugh.  I picked up E's senior pictures today  & then I started looking through pictures trying to find one of Elizabeth when she was little & found a bunch when all of mine were small.  I don't remember them growing so quickly.  I know didn't want them to grow up quite so fast & I think a small part of me has changed my mind.  There is a little piece that misses the crazy schedule and all the teaching moments ahead.  It seems they were all here & now most of them are gone.  It's funny because this is how I still see them, not how they are today.  I'll be ok...maybe the next time I see a screaming toddler, or a child that has projectile vomiting.  It has been a great ride so far & I will appreciate every second I see all my crazy kiddos no matter how old they are. Celebrating Life, ~ashley

The "most dreaded" phrase for all children and teenagers.  There are many who feel this phrase should be not used when talking to children.  They say it's vague and authoritarian.  I had an epiphany this weekend about what 'because I said so' really means & what it should mean to our children when we say it. When parents use 'because I said so' the first thing we want you, our children, to do is to have trust that the decision we have made is in your best interest.  Sometimes we don't have time to sit down and explain every thought that went into our final decision, but we need y'all to understand we have your best interest in our hearts. We need you to know we have years  of life's experiences under our belts.  We understand that in your teenage minds you are already grown-up, but let me assure you, you are not.  Oftentimes we will consult with other adults (some older & some our peers) to get to our decision if we are vacillat...

Everyday women are amazing.  I know many people look up to celebrities, but honestly, I know regular people who are incredible mothers and professionals.  They get up everyday, grind it out, and don't expect special treatment for doing the normal.  Family and friends are the ones ordinary women lean on, because no one thinks twice about the normal.  Everyday things accomplished by a non-celebrity go unnoticed, but you have a celebrity talk about or do anything , and people lose their ever-loving-minds.  It's nuts, and pregnancy is a big one. Have you seen some of the names celebrities come up with for their kids?  Just Google it...yikes.   There are those women who love being pregnant.  Their skin glows; their hair is silky smooth; and their nails are super strong.  They can eat what ever they like and they sleep beautifully.  Yeah, I don't like those people.  Just kidding; really am just jealous.  I fell into the lucky 10% o...

We wear pink on Wednesdays. Suck.  That's right I said it.  Mean people suck.  I'm fuming right now!  My heart beating like a drum & hands shaking kind of mad.  Mean people, ugh!  I asked my friend if I could tell her story here about her encounter with some mean kids & I have her ok, but I'm changing her name. Jana is 24 weeks pregnant.  Not all of us are blessed with wonderful, glowing, easy pregnancies.  Some of us are sick and struggle through the 40 weeks of growing another human being inside our bodies.  Jana is one of these lucky few.  Did I mention she is also chasing a 2 year old around?  Talk about compounding your sickness and exhaustion. It's summer in Alabama, and if you live here you know that means hot and humid.  Add in that it's been raining a ton, which we need, but it jacks the humidity close to 100% & makes it feel even hotter.  Being comfortable while also trying to chase said toddl...

Hop's graduation from Auburn this May. First off, I know how weird this is.  I've posted two days in a row after not writing anything for almost a year.  All my coherent thoughts are finally surfacing after all this time. :) How my life has changed in 10 years!  10 years ago I was a crazy and stressed mom of 4 ages 5-12.  Fast forward to today & I'm still crazy, but I'm now a mom of 4 ages 15-22.  I don't know where those 10 years went, but they flew by.  While I was driving children places, teaching kids how to drive, cooking dinner, folding clothes, and monitoring homework, all my little chicks grew up.  I have always loved my children.  Duh, they're mine.  What I've really noticed over the last few years is that I like them, and I tell my children I like them.  At first they said:  "you have to we are your children", but that's an untrue statement.  I have to love them, but not like them.  I heard a mom say sh...

Hello dear readers; long time no write.  I have been writing, just not on here, but that's a different subject for another time. I was scrolling through social media today.  (I hate social media, have I ever said that?)  Well, I do, and when I get on it, I keep asking myself why am I here?  Don't I have laundry to wash/dry/fold & put away, or a dishwasher to unload, or dinner to cook, or toe jam to get up off the floor?!  Apparently not, because I just kept on scrolling.  I'm trying to really limit my time on FB, except for I Mom So Hard, those 2 are hi.lar.i.ous!  Their new one on bathing suits must not be missed. Ok, well that was a little rabbit trail, sorry!  I was looking at several things on Facebook:  1. pictures from my youngest's 8th grade banquet & 2.  a blog posting from another mom.  I'm just going to discuss #1 & have 2 thoughts on the subject. First, the 8th grade dance pictures.  Everyone looke...

I know, long time no post.  I haven't really had anything to say; it's shocking, I know.  I do have something to say today though.  IF you disagree with what I'm saying, ok great for you.  These are things I've just noticed in the last year & I thought I would share it with you.   I sub…a lot, and I love it.  I sub middle and high school aged kids.  They are fun and crazy and make me laugh.  I get to be like their favorite aunt.  I come in, love on kids, help them with their work or give them a test, and then I leave.  Most kids are excited to see me.  They know they get a break from the strictness of their teacher for a day.  My goal is to help the kids learn something new, finish their work with excellence & have fun each time I sub. But, here lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among 12-18 year olds, they are utterly dependent on their teachers and parents for everything. It's OK if they fail Hey mom an...

I was accused, and rightly so, of not teaching the children how to cook.  Apparently they didn't learn by watching me cook for hours on end all through their childhood.  Yes, I'll be waiting on my mother of the year trophy and accolades from each of you reading this.  ;)  Well, the not being able to cook stops now for the 4.  Since this may be the very last time I have all four under one roof for the summer everyone is going to learn to cook, even Henry. (who, by the way, turned 14 yesterday!  HBD Hen!) Sunday night we sat around the table eating dinner and we planned out the menu for the week.  Several rules were laid out for the summer of cooking:  You cannot grill out two weeks in a row.  No repeating meals over the weeks.  I will do the grocery shopping, but I have to know what you need.  I'm pretty sure I'll have to throw a few other rules in as we go along, but this was a good place to start. Here's what everyone is cookin...

A letter: Dear sweet high school girl trying out for __________,  (insert your team name here) I wanted to let you know that God really doesn't care if you make said team.  Yes, He gave you the ability to throw a layout full; pull a firebird right after you've done 8 turns in second; have the largest range in the choir; be able to debate the questions until your blue in the face; kick and catch any ball,  but that's not what He cares about.  He doesn't love you more because you've made those teams.  He loves you. Period.  Every little flaw you think you have, He created, and in reality it's not a flaw, only you just think it is.  He thinks you're beautiful and wonderful and His. Have you ever noticed when people make or do something great they always praise God's name and quote scripture?  Have you ever heard anyone praise Him when they didn't get something they've trained years for?  When you've been rejected and told you're no...

(taken from the internet) You know, before kids I was fine.  Things were easy.  (I was thin.)  I could keep my house really clean.  I could keep up with laundry.  I could get a lot of work done in a day, and I didn't have my emotions leaking down my face on a daily basis. Did I cry at sad movies?  Yes, duh.  Steel Magnolias to 'ya, but crying at any other movie or at any other time for no apparent reason?  As if.  When I was little, I remember my mom taking us to see the Muppets take Manhattan .  At the end of the movie when Kermit & Miss. Piggy get married, my mom sat in her seat & cried.  I mean boo hoo'd.  We teased her unmercifully about it for years.  Who cries at a kid's movie?  Well, apparently, my apple didn't fall far from my mom's tree. It's gotten to the point where I can cry at the drop of a hat.  I don't mean to, I just do.  I can be in church singing a song; watching a movie...

Rules are absolute, except when they are meant to  should be bent, broken or changed.  I grow weary of hearing people in authority say they can't change a rule.  It's not that they can't change it, it's they choose not to. Here's a perfect example .  The gist of the linked article talks about a young man from Iowa, who won a cross country race, but then went back to help another young man that was "turning white and holding his chest 20 meters away from the finish line".  Did the Iowa High School Athletic Association laud this young man for going back to help someone that could have been having a serious health issue?  Did they hold him up as someone to emulate?  No, they didn't.  They stripped him of his first place finish.  The finish he EARNED.  No one helped him across the finish line, he helped someone else after many runners ran past & didn't even offer to find help. The IHSAA could have ruled to allow this young man t...

Come close children,  please draw near. I have a cautionary tale  you all must hear. Your words and pictures  that you post online, You should assume it will be screen shot and shared many times.  Friends will see and share and talk about what you have done, And it is with one careless act you caused your reputation to drawn through the mud. If pretty is as pretty does, and it's your character that matters. You need to look in the mirror closely because your beauty has been shattered. Be careful then what  you post, because it can ruin you in a blink. Remember these important words, and before you post, just THINK. ~ashley T~Is it True? H~Is it Helpful? I~Is in Inspiring? N~Is it Necessary? K~Is it Kind? ~anonymous "The internet is written in Pen not Pencil.  Think before you post."   ~anonymous I love Roz from Monsters Inc. I'm just SMH.  Do kids ever realize that everyth...