A Year in the Life

I don't make resolutions.  I used to, but wisely I quit.  I figured when I kept breaking them after a few weeks or months that something had to change, and it had to start with my thoughts and actions.  Here are a few of my failed resolutions: Don't failures look so much prettier when they look like that?  Still, they are places where I fell short, and that is where the most learning takes place.  What I really learned is that I needed to be a person of action instead of talk.  Talk is cheap.  It's easy to say I'm going to do something, but the follow-through is another issue.  I can say I'll love my fam, but unless I actually do it the words are meaningless.  I figured what was the use in making resolutions if it was all talk and no action.  I had to make lifestyle changes.  Instead of just wanting to read my bible, workout & lose weight, I made changes to make sure I did.  I started by putting things on my ca...

The "most dreaded" phrase for all children and teenagers.  There are many who feel this phrase should be not used when talking to children.  They say it's vague and authoritarian.  I had an epiphany this weekend about what 'because I said so' really means & what it should mean to our children when we say it. When parents use 'because I said so' the first thing we want you, our children, to do is to have trust that the decision we have made is in your best interest.  Sometimes we don't have time to sit down and explain every thought that went into our final decision, but we need y'all to understand we have your best interest in our hearts. We need you to know we have years  of life's experiences under our belts.  We understand that in your teenage minds you are already grown-up, but let me assure you, you are not.  Oftentimes we will consult with other adults (some older & some our peers) to get to our decision if we are vacillat...

Raising children can be hard.  Let me rephrase, dealing with other people's children can be hard. My children are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but there are some things they know.  They know what the expectations are for them in almost every situation.  (They should, we go over them enough.)  They know that when I say no, I mean no.  They know that when Hopson & I look at them 'that way' they better cease and desist what they are doing, or they will have consequences.  Other people's children may not know these things.   There are so many things I want for my children.  I pray for my children to be kind.  I want them to have the courage to stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves.  I want them to be a good friend in both word and deed.  I want them to be unafraid to love people, even when others hurt or are mean to them.  I want them to be bold in their knowledge of truth; be able to see i...

Photo creds to andrewcorbett.net AMEN!  Well, something happened today that I never thought would.  But before I tell you what child #1 did, let me preface it with the next paragraph.  Don't skip it, especially if your a momma. You know all the years you spend training your children.  Say yes'mam and no'mam; say please and thank you; put your napkin in your lap; chew with your mouth closed; hold the door open for ladies to enter before you do; hold the door open for the people coming behind you; look people in the eye when speaking to them; speak clearly; give a good firm handshake because no one likes a dead fish grip; excellence in everything...and the list goes on, and on and on.  I'm wondering if the reminders never end, because even when they become young adults (and maybe sometimes middle aged adults) a momma never stops wanting her children to have good manners and act like a normal human being. I witnessed a miracle today!  Hop actually said...

By now from reading my blog you should know what kind of parent I am.  For those of you who are new, first off, welcome!  I'm so glad you stopped by, now don't be a stranger.  :) ***Please read disclaimer:  I believe that I am not a perfect parent.  I believe that I do not have perfect children.  The opinions stated below are just that, opinions.  Take from it what you will. I parent "old school".  I believe in modeling what I expect of my children.  I believe in love and laughter and your word being your bond.  I believe in children having responsibilities from an early age.  I believe in setting boundaries for kids.  I believe in discipline; spanking if needed.  I believe that you show elders respect in word and deed.  I believe in building up children and having high expectations for them. I believe in giving children roots when they are young so when they are older they can spread their wings and fly.  Al...

I'm going to send you over to my sorority alumnae website for a blog posting I did for the new year.  It's called Just Throw It Away . You better be careful if I get my trash can out, because I just might start purging a closet or two or three, or your room. :) It's a short piece, but good to remember that sometimes it's good to clean things out so we can start something new. Y'all have a great weekend of Celebrating Life, ~ashley

You know how I feel about little precious.  :/  It really bothers me when little precious thinks that he/she can do anything they want whenever they want.  And you know that we don't have that problem in my house, car, or when we're out in public.  When the chicks were little, and we would go to:  Wal-Mart, the grocery store, out to lunch/dinner, to a department store, OK, basically anywhere we went, they would get one warning to behave/mind  your manners in the car before we even stepped foot anywhere.  I would not, and have not hesitated to take them into the bathroom and let them fully understand my displeasure at their attitude or disobedience.  There are too many of them and only one of me & I don't have time to chase you or deal with your attitude.  Just behave and everything will be fine...or I'll discipline you, and then everything will be fine.  The little chicks are old enough now that all I have to do is u...

The Fab Four Friday the fam went out to lunch.  Yea!  I don't have to worry about what to feed the peeps today.  Of course the children chose to go a local Japanese steak house.  Yum.  Sushi for me.  :)  Yes, there are a lot of us, and yes, we're loud.  We've been known to haze each other and pile on while someone had been knocked down.  You need fairly thick skin in this house.  (It's all done in fun & we do love each other very much.)  We arrive at our table, and there were two people already sitting when the six of us fill in the rest of the table.  The man's eyes about popped out of his head.  I looked at him & said:  "yes, we're a pretty big group".  He gave me a totally smart aleck smile & started talking to the woman he came to eat with. So the orders are placed and they begin to bring out each course:  soup, salad, rice, and meat.  I don't...

Just some of the dishes I used while baking tonight. :/ ...I hate to bake.  No really, I do.  Love to cook, hate to bake.  I'm so bad at it.  It's partly because I'm lazy, partly because if you mess up while you're cooking you can usually doctor it up and make it taste OK.  Not so in baking.  If you mess up what you're baking, just save yourself some time & throw it in the garbage.  I know some great bakers, and they make some of the best looking and best tasting desserts.  (my mother-in-law can bake like no body's business!)  So, I tell you this because I told Elizabeth I would bake a cake...from scratch.  What?!  Who said that?!  Did I just say I would bake a cake from scratch?  I want to ask myself:  "Are you stupid or something?".  If stupid is as stupid does, then pass the dunce hat.  I need to wear it for a bit.  I tried to make a German chocolate cake....

Dear Parents, if you have a child that is a diva, or doesn't deal well with the word 'no', this posting is for you.  I'm sorry if it offends, well not really, because I'm doing you and everyone who has to be around your child a favor.  Let me start off by saying that Elizabeth and I are not divas.  We are well read, intelligent, and can attain things by clearly communicating what we would like.  We don't pout, pitch fits, or scream.  As a matter of fact, none of my children have ever done anything like this, well, ever.  I had dealings with a diva today, and I can tell you that is was one of the most unpleasant happenings of my month.  If pretty is as pretty does, then this child is horribly ugly.  Here's what happened: I was sitting with another child who just needed a little extra love today.  It happens, and it is my pleasure to help a child feel secure at church.  (sometimes big crowds can be a little too much for ...