The Legal Age


One looks the same & the
other looks very different...
21 years.  No bar crawl; no drinking games. (thank goodness)  Just a nice dinner and flowers for me.

Last week Hopson & I celebrated our 21st anniversary.  Wow, 21 years.  That's a long time.  I've been married almost 1/2 of my life.  It's gotten to the point that it's hard to imagine myself as ever being single.  He's like that really comfy pair of broken in slippers.  Nice analogy I know.  :)  But it's true.  A great pair of slippers are warm and soft, and they just make you happy when  you get to put them on.  Hopson will wear his out in public.  They look like camo shoes, so it's easier to get away with wearing them.

But, as any couple who has been married over 20 years will tell you, it's not all sunshine and roses.  Marriage is hard work.  It's two people who have been raised in different households coming together to blend traditions, philosophies and life styles.  It's also deciding to love someone when they are at their worst. You know in your vows you say "for better, for worse", but how many of us really think about the worse part?  Trust me, if you haven't experienced a worst yet, get ready because you will.

There are various degrees of worse.  There's the everyday kind & the BIG life changing kind.

Yeah, he's pretty hot in this picture!
(I know I just embarrassed my kids!)
For me, the everyday kind is:  picking up dirty clothes thrown on the floor; cooking and cleaning the same things over and over; scrubbing toothpaste spit from the sink.  That's the side of marriage no one tells you about.  We've also experienced the big stuff.  The kind of difficulties that really test your spouses mettle & show their true colors.  We had been married for 3 years, had 2 babies & moved into my mom's house so I could take care of her while she was terminally ill.  If you don't think that would scare away some 26 year olds you're out of your mind.  You know what mine did?  He supported me, and did whatever was necessary to help me and my siblings through that time.  Hopson earned his man card that year.

What I've figured out is that if you can like someone at their worst, then you will be ok.  And yes, I meant to put like and not love.  To me, love is not something to toy around with.  When I got married, I decided that day that I would love Hopson until one of us dies.  Love is a state I choose everyday to be in with him.  Now, I may or may not choose to like him any given day; I can be a little moody.  (vice versa is true as well)  9 times out of 10, I like him pretty well.  I've tried to train him to put up his stuff, but after 21 years I don't think it has gotten any better...and possibly worse. But, it's the little worse, so we're all good.

Happy 21st honey daddy.  May our next 21 years be filled with much love, abounding happiness and tons of grandchildren!

Celebrating life & 21 years of marriage,
~ashley


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