A Year in the Life

All I have ever wanted for my children is for them to be kind and generous to someone in need without wanting anything in return.  I'm willing to bet if I polled 100 people, at least 99 of you want the same for your children as well.  It's something we all want, but how many times do we not see little ways we can help others.  There is no act of service that is small because it may be big for someone else.  As parents, grandparents, and mentors we have to lead by example. What I've learned is children are not innately kind and generous.  Ever had a two year old tell you "mine!" or not willing to share toys?  Ask me how many times I broke up my kiddos arguing over who would share what toy & who hit whom.  Ever tried to ask a child/teenager to help do anything that they didn't really want to do?  (cut the grass, unload the dishwasher, fold clothes, pick up toys...does anyone out there feel me?)  Like I said, children are not innately ki...

Hello dear readers; long time no write.  I have been writing, just not on here, but that's a different subject for another time. I was scrolling through social media today.  (I hate social media, have I ever said that?)  Well, I do, and when I get on it, I keep asking myself why am I here?  Don't I have laundry to wash/dry/fold & put away, or a dishwasher to unload, or dinner to cook, or toe jam to get up off the floor?!  Apparently not, because I just kept on scrolling.  I'm trying to really limit my time on FB, except for I Mom So Hard, those 2 are hi.lar.i.ous!  Their new one on bathing suits must not be missed. Ok, well that was a little rabbit trail, sorry!  I was looking at several things on Facebook:  1. pictures from my youngest's 8th grade banquet & 2.  a blog posting from another mom.  I'm just going to discuss #1 & have 2 thoughts on the subject. First, the 8th grade dance pictures.  Everyone looke...

I know, long time no post.  I haven't really had anything to say; it's shocking, I know.  I do have something to say today though.  IF you disagree with what I'm saying, ok great for you.  These are things I've just noticed in the last year & I thought I would share it with you.   I sub…a lot, and I love it.  I sub middle and high school aged kids.  They are fun and crazy and make me laugh.  I get to be like their favorite aunt.  I come in, love on kids, help them with their work or give them a test, and then I leave.  Most kids are excited to see me.  They know they get a break from the strictness of their teacher for a day.  My goal is to help the kids learn something new, finish their work with excellence & have fun each time I sub. But, here lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among 12-18 year olds, they are utterly dependent on their teachers and parents for everything. It's OK if they fail Hey mom an...

I know this is my third post this week.  And yes, I'm just as amazed as you are.  But something happened to me today & yes, it relates back to my Honduras trip. Each morning, someone would give a devotion/message/challenge.  One morning, one of the men challenged us to, just walk across the room.  He is reading a book by the same title & told us that for each person it would look different, but as believers we're called to share Christ.  If you are shy, walking across the room (WATR) may be you talking to someone you don't know.  It might be sharing your testimony or praying for someone you just met. WATR is recognizing the moments God has placed you in & using your life moment for His glory.  Well, today I had one.  Through a series of unimportant events, I ended up at the FedEx distribution center in Birmingham.  A box my company was shipping was going to a nonexistent address & I had to get it so it wouldn't end up bein...

My view every morning at Grace Farm. 1 week ago Saturday I left to go on a mission trip to Honduras.  The months before I left and the entire way down I kept asking myself what in the world I was doing.  I'm about as white and as southern as you can get.  As I've looked back on my 44 years, I can't remember a time when I was hungry because I didn't have enough to eat.  I've never been without heat when it's cold or cool air when it's hot.  I was never abused by my parents.  I have always had plenty of clothes in my closet to wear.  So again, I asked myself, what am I doing here. Plane window view As we flew into the Honduran capital of Tegucigalpa, I couldn't help but notice how urban it was.  It looked like a normal American city.  And it is.  They have malls and movie theaters.  (they actually have the movies inside the mall, brilliant!)  They have McDonald's, Popeye's chicken, and many other restaurants.  Th...

I was accused, and rightly so, of not teaching the children how to cook.  Apparently they didn't learn by watching me cook for hours on end all through their childhood.  Yes, I'll be waiting on my mother of the year trophy and accolades from each of you reading this.  ;)  Well, the not being able to cook stops now for the 4.  Since this may be the very last time I have all four under one roof for the summer everyone is going to learn to cook, even Henry. (who, by the way, turned 14 yesterday!  HBD Hen!) Sunday night we sat around the table eating dinner and we planned out the menu for the week.  Several rules were laid out for the summer of cooking:  You cannot grill out two weeks in a row.  No repeating meals over the weeks.  I will do the grocery shopping, but I have to know what you need.  I'm pretty sure I'll have to throw a few other rules in as we go along, but this was a good place to start. Here's what everyone is cookin...

A letter: Dear sweet high school girl trying out for __________,  (insert your team name here) I wanted to let you know that God really doesn't care if you make said team.  Yes, He gave you the ability to throw a layout full; pull a firebird right after you've done 8 turns in second; have the largest range in the choir; be able to debate the questions until your blue in the face; kick and catch any ball,  but that's not what He cares about.  He doesn't love you more because you've made those teams.  He loves you. Period.  Every little flaw you think you have, He created, and in reality it's not a flaw, only you just think it is.  He thinks you're beautiful and wonderful and His. Have you ever noticed when people make or do something great they always praise God's name and quote scripture?  Have you ever heard anyone praise Him when they didn't get something they've trained years for?  When you've been rejected and told you're no...

(taken from the internet) You know, before kids I was fine.  Things were easy.  (I was thin.)  I could keep my house really clean.  I could keep up with laundry.  I could get a lot of work done in a day, and I didn't have my emotions leaking down my face on a daily basis. Did I cry at sad movies?  Yes, duh.  Steel Magnolias to 'ya, but crying at any other movie or at any other time for no apparent reason?  As if.  When I was little, I remember my mom taking us to see the Muppets take Manhattan .  At the end of the movie when Kermit & Miss. Piggy get married, my mom sat in her seat & cried.  I mean boo hoo'd.  We teased her unmercifully about it for years.  Who cries at a kid's movie?  Well, apparently, my apple didn't fall far from my mom's tree. It's gotten to the point where I can cry at the drop of a hat.  I don't mean to, I just do.  I can be in church singing a song; watching a movie...

Rules are absolute, except when they are meant to  should be bent, broken or changed.  I grow weary of hearing people in authority say they can't change a rule.  It's not that they can't change it, it's they choose not to. Here's a perfect example .  The gist of the linked article talks about a young man from Iowa, who won a cross country race, but then went back to help another young man that was "turning white and holding his chest 20 meters away from the finish line".  Did the Iowa High School Athletic Association laud this young man for going back to help someone that could have been having a serious health issue?  Did they hold him up as someone to emulate?  No, they didn't.  They stripped him of his first place finish.  The finish he EARNED.  No one helped him across the finish line, he helped someone else after many runners ran past & didn't even offer to find help. The IHSAA could have ruled to allow this young man t...

Come close children,  please draw near. I have a cautionary tale  you all must hear. Your words and pictures  that you post online, You should assume it will be screen shot and shared many times.  Friends will see and share and talk about what you have done, And it is with one careless act you caused your reputation to drawn through the mud. If pretty is as pretty does, and it's your character that matters. You need to look in the mirror closely because your beauty has been shattered. Be careful then what  you post, because it can ruin you in a blink. Remember these important words, and before you post, just THINK. ~ashley T~Is it True? H~Is it Helpful? I~Is in Inspiring? N~Is it Necessary? K~Is it Kind? ~anonymous "The internet is written in Pen not Pencil.  Think before you post."   ~anonymous I love Roz from Monsters Inc. I'm just SMH.  Do kids ever realize that everyth...

Yeah, I wish.  Cake is easier to make, well sort of.  Ok, not for me.  For me, cake is impossible to make as well as anything that is classified as a dessert.  Did you know that stressed spelled backwards is desserts?  For me it should be desserts (that I have to cook) spell stressed. Last week Henry told me that for his French class today he needed to bring Mille-Feuille.  It's no big deal he said.  We could get it at Whole Foods he said.  Of course, I completely forgot about the M-F until yesterday when Hen reminded me about it.  Ok, no biggie.  I will call Whole Foods to make sure they have some handy & I'll pick it up & Henry can take it to school & we'll all be happy. Because I'm writing about it, you already know that Whole Foods did not have any.  As a matter of fact, they looked at me like I had grown another head when I asked them about.  The bakers at WF had no idea what I was talking about.  Mill...

I've had some really heartwarming mommy moments this last week.  One in particular I have to share. Now, I will admit that there are some songs we sing in church that I like better than others.  I like them all, but some just move my spirit.  I was in church with Elizabeth on my left & Henry on my right, and this song started to play.  It's one of my favorites!  My heart was so full, and then I looked out of my peripheral vision. My most fervent prayer is that my children would have encounters with the Living God.  I pray that He would touch them and they would know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves them and wants a relationship with them.  I pray that they will choose to follow Him all the days of their lives.  I know He is faithful, and has already given me answers to more prayers than I can count.   I look and my children are singing and worshiping and smiling.  How could my heart not be full?  How could my h...

UAB Sigma Kappa 2015 Colonization Class Today was an exciting day.  It was one of those days that you celebrate the joys of youth.  It was the kind of day that old people watch and smile and remember when it was their turn to celebrate and be celebrated. Today my sorority colonized a new chapter.  Sigma Kappa is now part of the sorority experience at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.  I am so excited I can't even stand it. The young women in the room were beautiful, smart, enthusiastic and diverse.  A colonization class is special.  They are the trailblazers.  They will set the tone of the UAB chapter for years to come.  If what I saw today is an indication of this chapter's future...WOW, these young women are going to rock this sorority thing! I was talking with all the alumnae in the room, and the really neat thing is, there was only one from my home chapter.  Alumnae groups are made up of women from all over the United State...

I just wanted to jot a few words down to let you know that I'm still here.  I know I haven't written in over a month, but don't worry when I do, it's going to be a doozie. Just remember:  goats, shopping and a foreign exchange student.  Yikes! It's crazy town over here, and needless to say, I'm the mayor. Celebrating Life! ~ashley nance

Can I say that I am happy I don't have a senior in high school this year?  I am.  It's emotional and stressful, and goes by way to quickly, and emotional.  I realized all of this when Hop was a freshman in high school. I'm sitting on a somewhat toasty Monday night watching Hop play in a Freshman football game.  No one comes to the freshman football games but the freshman cheerleaders, and parents of the players and cheerleaders.  We were about half way through his season, and it hit me that I only had 3 more years to watch him...do just about anything.  I voiced it to another mom & of course I started to cry.  I mean, yesterday he was going into 1st grade to be a Hooper Trooper & now he was in high school and time was blowin' and goin'.  Time continued to speed up as each year passed, and he left the nest, and hasn't looked back since. Then Harry hits high school; a few years later Hop graduates.  Harry is a senior (I really thi...

I has already been a very busy August for the fam, and we have had some pretty big changes around here in the first 9 days of the month.  But, I have a few questions first: 1.  I'm wondering why & when my children grew up. I don't remember giving permission to.  I remember wanting them to become self sufficient, but not grow up and leave.  I realize it's a natural progression, but each time it happens I'm shocked it's here.  They leave when they are getting really fun, so it's kind of a bummer. 2.  I don't remember telling them they could age past 20. Hopson turned 21 August 1st.  I don't know how that happened.  I distinctly remember being 21 yesterday, so how is it possible for me to have a 21 year old?  I asked my in-laws why they were so old.  ;)  They know I'm teasing.  I mean, if I can't be old enough to have a 21 year old, they aren't old enough to have grandchildren that old, right? Can I tell you how quickl...

Dear Facebook, I wanted to let you know how much I really hate you right now.  You have turned my country, state, and city upside down.  You have made enemies out of friends and ripped us in half, and left us bleeding out.  You have lawmakers removing historical monuments because someone screamed 'those are racist'.  The 'R' word scares the holy h.e.double hockey sticks out of people, and sometimes makes them think that by just removing a symbol we can take away the pain of the past.  Wrong.  A symbol is just a symbol & an individual is the only one that can give it any power.  Hate lives within a person not a thing. To the leaders of our country, state & city:  FYI, this is a southern state.  FYI, we were part of the confederacy.  Does that mean we still believe in slavery?  No.  Does it mean that we believe in the segregation and exclusion that some people assign to this state?  No.  Does it mean we can l...

I love to take a few minutes each day & just kinda scroll through Facebook.  I love looking at people's pictures, reading from some of my favorite political blogs, funny memes, and even taking a few , some , OK, a lot of those stupid quizzes by buzzfeed.  There are a few times of year that I've decided I don't like getting on Facebook, and Father's Day is one of them.  One thing before I go any further, Hopson thinks Facebook is from the devil.  (He feels that way about Instagram, SnapChat...really all forms of social media.  I think there are days he wished I didn't blog, he hates it when I write about him.)  I didn't post pictures of Hopson yesterday for Father's Day.  I didn't post pictures of my dad for Father's Day & I didn't post pictures of my father-in-law, Walter, for Father's Day.  You know why?  Because I think Mother's and Father's Day are stupid holidays.  There I said it!  Whew!  And you know what,...

Several of my posts have been very serious and, hopefully, a little thought provoking lately & so I'm offering my humiliation up to make y'all laugh.  Laughter is good for the soul.   “Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.”   ~L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables I spend just a little bit of time sitting.  I sit when I work; I sit when I sub; I sit when I'm driving children all over the place; and I sit when I write.  It's amazing that my behind is not flat as a pancake.  This is not really about my behind, it's about my new desk chair. I've wanted one for some time now, but just now purchased it.  It doesn't go with my decor or other furniture at all, but I don't care.  It's an exerball chair.  I like it a lot except for one thing, it's not made for short people.  When I first put the chair together, well, when Henry fixed what I had messed up, I was so excited, but noticed it sat kind of low to the ground. ...

Somebody write it down, I'm blogging two days in a row.  So much is going through my melon & this is my therapy.  Well, this and getting my hair done, but this is free.  Hopson likes free, but my hair does look much better.  Anyway... Last year some of E's friends had a lyrical dance to the song "When a Heart Breaks" by Ben Rector .  (here's a cool remake that's acca-awesome .)  This song is one of my faves, although I would change one of the lyrics.  When you hear it you'll know which one I mean. Have you ever had events in your life where you have literally felt your heart break?  The, I just need to lay down and wish the earth would swallow me whole, kind of breaks?  I have, and this song just speaks to my soul.  I have felt almost every emotion he talks about.  If you haven't been through something that shatters your heart, prepare yourself because it's coming.  None of us escape it, because we live in a fallen crea...